“Tell me, if my
asking does not seem foolish, who is he?”
“He is,” said she, staying her swift movements and smiling.
He looked at her questioningly. “He is, as you have seen him,” she said in answer to his look. “He is the Master of wood, water, and hill.”
“Then all this strange land belongs to him?”
“No indeed!” She answered. […] “The trees and grasses and all things belong each to themselves. He is the master. No one has ever caught him.”
“He is,” said she, staying her swift movements and smiling.
He looked at her questioningly. “He is, as you have seen him,” she said in answer to his look. “He is the Master of wood, water, and hill.”
“Then all this strange land belongs to him?”
“No indeed!” She answered. […] “The trees and grasses and all things belong each to themselves. He is the master. No one has ever caught him.”
If you are wondering why I’m starting a blog about David
Bowie with a quote about Tom Bombadil, well… hi. I’m Bejoes. And making
everything about Tolkien is what I do :p
Really though, this quote pretty much sums up the image I
have of David Bowie. Untouchable. Not caring about what people think of him,
and indeed very confusing.
Roughly about a year ago, Ziggy became stardust, and things kind of tilted for me, because something had happened that I somehow thought never could.
(By the way, I totally get it if you think I’m being overdramatic about a guy I never met and really, not listened thát much to. But he was important to me, okay, so bear with me.)
Okay, so… origin time! I got to know David Bowie through Placebo about 10 years ago. I remember listening to his music when I was writing (back when I still had buckets of inspiration just lying about, and wrote just about all the time). I remember saving up all my pocket money to buy Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and sitting in the garden with my discman and just listening to it over and over. I remember getting a copy of the Reality Tour concert and watching that a bazillion times, I remember my eyes recognising his name on a weird DVD called “Labyrinth” and watching that a bazillion times too. On my very very very secret bucket list (the kind that has items that are just too impossible to happen, but could in theory still happen) my number one was “be serenaded by David Bowie” closely followed by “star in The Hobbit”.
And if I did listen less to him in later years, it didn’t mean that I loved his songs any less. It’s just that I was exploring other music. I still think Ziggy Stardust is one of the best albums out there.
So yeah, and then 2016 happened, which sucked. And I did a bunch of things to lick my wounds, so to speak, and come to terms that this person, who I hadn’t even realised meant so much to me, was gone. I listened to his entire discography, I watched all his movies (that I could get my hands on), I went on a 6-hour train journey to the Bowie exhibition in Groningen. I even considered getting a lightning bolt tattooed on my ankle (spoilers: I still kinda want it). And it got better. But he’s still way more in my everyday life than he used to be.
Roughly about a year ago, Ziggy became stardust, and things kind of tilted for me, because something had happened that I somehow thought never could.
(By the way, I totally get it if you think I’m being overdramatic about a guy I never met and really, not listened thát much to. But he was important to me, okay, so bear with me.)
Okay, so… origin time! I got to know David Bowie through Placebo about 10 years ago. I remember listening to his music when I was writing (back when I still had buckets of inspiration just lying about, and wrote just about all the time). I remember saving up all my pocket money to buy Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and sitting in the garden with my discman and just listening to it over and over. I remember getting a copy of the Reality Tour concert and watching that a bazillion times, I remember my eyes recognising his name on a weird DVD called “Labyrinth” and watching that a bazillion times too. On my very very very secret bucket list (the kind that has items that are just too impossible to happen, but could in theory still happen) my number one was “be serenaded by David Bowie” closely followed by “star in The Hobbit”.
And if I did listen less to him in later years, it didn’t mean that I loved his songs any less. It’s just that I was exploring other music. I still think Ziggy Stardust is one of the best albums out there.
So yeah, and then 2016 happened, which sucked. And I did a bunch of things to lick my wounds, so to speak, and come to terms that this person, who I hadn’t even realised meant so much to me, was gone. I listened to his entire discography, I watched all his movies (that I could get my hands on), I went on a 6-hour train journey to the Bowie exhibition in Groningen. I even considered getting a lightning bolt tattooed on my ankle (spoilers: I still kinda want it). And it got better. But he’s still way more in my everyday life than he used to be.
So, it’s been a year now, and since I’m all about anniversaries (especially those I make myself), I pondered about what I wanted to do, and how to make it better.
I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that one of the most important parts about Bowie is that he was completely unashamed to be himself and to express himself. Sure, sometimes he’d look back on what he’d created and laugh, but he was always already lightyears away from that, and still inventing new things, highlighting a different side of himself, finding new ways to express himself.
So I’m going to try that. Expressing myself more and not feel ashamed. I say “try”, because I pondered about wearing an ear cuff (it’s non piercing ear jewellery) to work last week and totally chickened out on that, so yeah… go me. ANYWAYS. The point is, I’m going to try to work more on that. And one way I did that was…
trying ballet.
I shit you not.
Okay, okay, more backstory here. So I did ballet as a toddler and absolutely loved it, but couldn’t continue with it for god knows what reason. And then when I finally got out of the clutches of high school with its oppressive judging, I started to realise I still absolutely loved ballet. It even became part of my very very secret bucket list (it’s different from my very very very secret bucket list) to one day stand on pointe. There were a lot of “but I can’t…” thoughts there. I was past the age to do ballet, really. I was never going to get that agile again. I don’t have the time… yada yada, you know the song.
So yeah. I decided to put all those thoughts in the trash and to try it anyways.
Unfortunately… every time I try a new sport, and I do mean every – fucking – time-… life tries to stop me. When I decided to go swimming for the first time my swim suit was all kinds of wrong, I forgot my shampoo, and I think my bike broke down or something. When I decided to start jogging, it stayed cold for ages, my ear plugs wouldn’t stay in and everything hurt. So I knew something was coming.
Tuesday came. The anniversary of Bowie’s you-know-what. After work, there was a party for a colleague of mine who retired. And when I left to catch my train, it got abolished and so did all other trains, because there had been an accident literally five minutes before I got there, and then there was a very drunk guy screaming at me... In the end, it took me two hours longer to get to my home town and I was almost late for the class, but still made it. And I loved it. I wasn’t particularly good at it, but I was far from bad, and it became clear that if I continued going to this class, I would soon be going at it with the best of them. I decided to try out a different class, called “ballet fit”, which is more workout based and since my back has been acting up, I thought it would be good for me. So that was yesterday.
… Well, ballerinas do have a love-hate relationship with their toes, don’t they?
 |
| it doesn't usually look this fat. |
This happened during a session of doing rapid attitudes. I’m sure it’s just sprained. Right? Right?
So… my point of this entire rambling post is this. I want to be more like David Bowie, because 1) duh, David Bowie. But also because expressing myself is good for me, and I should really not bother with what other people will think of me while I try things out.
2017 just got interesting. It better be ready for me.
Until next time (hopefully not from a hospital),
Bejoes
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